Gather What You Need: A Portrait of Mary Jane—And Other News

I just finished my first big commission, and as you can see, she’s not a pigeon. Adorable and very round, Mary Jane is a fox squirrel currently in the care of Yggdrasil Urban Wildlife Rescue.

When Mary Jane’s rehabber, Janet, asked if I could make a portrait of a beloved rescue squirrel, I was honored. I’d already drawn a post-it note squirrel, and I loved doing that—so, I asked myself, how hard could it be?

Harder than I thought! But I can go pretty far on sheer enthusiasm.

With Mary Jane, enthusiasm took me through several delightful background layers and all of the blossoms, right up to the fur on her forehead and back, which stopped me in my tracks. Take a look at it. It’s gorgeous, so tightly variegated that it can appear dark, bright, or neutral, depending on the light. I had no idea how to render it convincingly. I walked around for days with a voice telling me, “The trouble is you don’t know how to paint.” And while it’s strictly true that no one taught me how to paint, I also recognize a thought distortion when I hear one.

I talked back to the voice: Listen, telling me I don’t know how to paint isn’t helpful. I’ve painted things. You’ve seen them. Can we be more precise? This fur is what I don’t know how to paint.

I reached out to my drawing teacher, also a painter, and she suggested that I try various tools to see if I could achieve a satisfying effect. I had already attempted layering light and dark papers and paint, my favorite palette knives, several brushes. Maybe a fork? she ventured.

A plastic fork (that little bit of flex made a lot of difference) was just the thing. But that fur still took many layers, more paper, more paint, and some pink and yellow crayons at the end for fun. As so often happens, what had been the most complex challenge turned out to be the most exciting part of the piece to create. That “oh my god, this is actually going to work” realization is priceless.

In addition to remembering that solutions may require unusual tools—and you may find those tools in unexpected places, like the drawer where you stuff leftover takeout things because you can’t bear to throw them in the trash—I noticed, learned, or confirmed other things:

1. Squirrels have way more shapes and textures than pigeons. Affectionately and very roughly, Pigeons are eyes and a beak on a bowling pin. Squirrels have haunches, whiskers, riotous ears, lively hands, and tails like solar flares. They also have fur you can’t fudge as easily as feathers.
2. You can apply the same techniques to different situations in surprising ways. For example, the dry stencil brushes I use to put shine on pigeon feathers work perfectly for squirrel fur.
3. When stuck, look for any place with energy and work there. The blossoms were a reliable place to rest, play, and gather strength in this piece.
4. When still stuck, seek help. (Thank you, Carrie.)

Very subtly embedded in the background of MJ’s portrait are two phrases that locked in when I read Animal Speak and the Squirrel Medicine Card:

Love yourself enough to gather what you need.

Everything will be taken care of in time.

And so it shall be.

I was pleased to donate some of the proceeds from MJ’s portrait to Yggdrasil. If you’ve never heard of this wonderful organization, let me introduce you. For folks getting this post in your email inbox, it’s worth clicking through to watch this heartfelt video:

What’s Next? Summer Studio Time and Scribble Portraits

I expect to have a lot of quiet time over the next few months, and I’d like to use the space to explore. I’m studying color mixing, and I’ve also started making scribbly portraits in my journal. I’ve kept written journals since I was nine years old but they’ve rarely doubled as sketchbooks. I’m not sure how I feel about having my quotidian observations—a fair amount of anxiety and complaint—mixed with sketches, but I’ll trust the form in which this practice arrived. It’s possible that one thing will influence the other in ways that I can’t know.

The journal drawings started out tiny—a single strawberry, a roll of toilet paper—but then, as I watched Jim Henson: Idea Man, an image of him as a boy caused me to pause the film and grab my pen.

The scribbled portrait felt like exactly what I needed—reaching for likeness while releasing control. So the next day, I tried another one . . .

I decided to keep going.

For images, I’m using whoever catches my eye, often someone I find in my email inbox in the morning . . .

I’ve started using crayon or paint to add color, but I’m still working intuitively and fast . . .

The likenesses come and go (sometimes they go and don’t come back) but I’m not allowed to give myself grief about it. My guideline is that any portrait I start has to be done, if not by the end of an hour, then by the end of the day. The goal is to keep my hand moving and my perfectionism on the sidelines.

July Giveaway: How to Sign Up

The next giveaway for blog subscribers is at the end of next month. The prize is any bird block available on my website at the time of the drawing. Coincidentally, two days after I announced this in May, a collector purchased all of my remaining bird blocks! That was an ironic thrill. I’ve since made ten more. You can see which ones are currently available in the rescued pigeon bird block gallery.

Here’s how to enter the drawing if you haven’t already:

1. If you’re getting this post in your email inbox, reply to it and tell me you want to be included.
2. If you’re reading this post on my website, subscribe to the blog and reply to your confirmation email.

I’ll pick a winner on July 31. Meanwhile, here’s a peek at a new Flicky bird block. Happy pride month, peeps!